Many phrases in common use are unnecessarily misleading, and in some cases this seems intentionally so. Some phrases are also factually wrong, whether that’s intentional or not.
| Phrases | Better Rephrased / Explained |
|---|---|
| Copy protection | Copy prevention |
| Combination lock | Permutation lock |
| Revenue forecast | Income extrapolation, income guess |
| Cost savings | Lower expense |
| Convenience fee | Extra charge |
| Statistically significant | Statistically-salient possible effect/difference |
| Linearly correlated | Aligned |
| Underdeveloped country | Poor country |
| Differently abled | Disabled, handicapped, crippled |
| Full figured | Fat, obese |
| Physically challenged | Disabled, handicapped, crippled |
| Accounts receivable | Still-unpaid customer bills |
| Letting employees go | Firing employees |
| Exotic dancer | Strip-dancer, stripper |
| Customer service | Customer-complaint area, money-back area |
| Safe space | Censorship area |
| Unmediated discourse | Talking face-to-face |
| Reproductive rights | Legalized abortion |
| Anti-social personality | Psychopathic personality; remorseless |
| Academic consensus | Politically-acceptable opinion (in academic committees) |
| Scientific consensus | Politically-acceptable opinion (in scientific committees) |
| Creation science | Bible/Qu’ran-inspired pseudo-science |
| Singularity movement | Techno-religion for terrified/delusional materialists |
| Academic department | University-affiliated grant-appropriation institution |
| Community college | Finishing school for high-schoolers |
| Primary/secondary school | Low-security detention/indoctrination center for minors |
| Human rights | Pro political-capital legal conventions |
| Political activist | Political goon, propaganda mouthpiece |
| News/media organization | Serious-looking propaganda establishment |
| Independent media | Niche-targeting propaganda establishment |
| People’s republic | Oppressive dictatorship |
| Democratic republic | Kleptocracy |
| Social justice | Fighting covert discrimination with overt discrimination |
| Foreign aid | Diplomatically-administered bribe |
| Press release | Self-serving version of events |
| Industry standard | Industry copycat, mediocre in its category |
| Gender parity | Half/majority-female membership in a category |
| Political correctness | Thought control |
| Otherwise intelligent | Stupid |
Some words are often used as deceiving euphemisms – again, the deception may or may not be intentional – even though these same words can have more legitimate uses in different contexts.
Such “weasel” words are sometimes used as an attempt to impress others, since making fancy sounds must mean you’re a deep thinker... oh, I mean... a profound ideator, with an appetite for uncomplicated paradigm shifts to proactively facilitate the organic resolution of concerns regarding interpersonal issues while helping develop empowering, amicable, and inclusive outcomes in order to equitably leverage our assets so as to enhance shareholder value and challenge us to fulfill our genuine commitment to diversity and sustainability in light of social and ecological justice as well as human rights, both within our local community and our planet.
Either way, the table below shows some of these common words when used in their weasel forms, and translates them using a bit of snark and the occasional touch of cynicism. For some entries, it also shows which specific contexts turn those words into weasels.
| Words | Contexts | Reworded / Translated |
|---|---|---|
| Concern | Worry | |
| Amicable | diplomacy, politics | Friendly, agreeable |
| Challenge | Problem | |
| Comprehend | Understand | |
| Facilitate | Help | |
| Uncomplicated | marketing | Simple |
| Appetite | finance, diplomacy | Greed, risk-tolerance |
| Departed | obituary | Dead |
| Issue | Topic, problem | |
| Neutralized | military | Killed, destroyed |
| Pacified | military | Killed, destroyed |
| Democratic | activism, politics | It imposes my own ideas/interests on others |
| Preowned | marketing | Used, deteriorated |
| Profound | Deep | |
| Leverage | business | Use, exploit |
| Develop | Make, find | |
| Purchase | Buy | |
| Inexpensive | Cheap | |
| Subprime | business, finance | Low-quality |
| Proactive | business, marketing | Giving the appearance of agency |
| Deceased | Dead | |
| Underneath | Below | |
| Empowering | marketing, politics | Giving the appearance of freedom |
| Utilize | Use | |
| Organic | art, design | Seemingly natural, spontaneous-looking |
| Privileged | society | Lucky, well-connected, overly-influential |
| Underprivileged | society | Poor, born unlucky |
| Priceless | art | Offensive to try to appraise monetarily |
| Diverse | business, marketing | Prominently featuring non-Caucasians |
| Worldwide | business, travel | In at least a few major westernized cities |
| Overweight | health | Fat |
| Natural | Giving the appearance of health/safety | |
| Inclusive | marketing, politics | Targeting more demographic niches |
| Exclusive | marketing | Giving the impression of high status |
| Genuine | Honest | |
| Sustainable | marketing | We want you to think we care about nature |
| Paradigm | business, marketing | I hope others will think I’m intelligent |
| Inappropriate | Embarrassing, rude, too revealing, too honest | |
| Innovative | business, society | Early still-remembered example of its kind |
| Forecast | Guess, projection | |
| Racist | activism, politics | Know your place whitey |
| Anti-racist | activism, politics | Racist hypocrite |
| Nigger | insult | Know your place darkie |
| Nigger | greeting | Buddy, friend |
| Environmentalist | activism, politics | Ignorant techno-conservative |
| Intellectual | Pretentious snob | |
| Pro-life | activism, politics | Anti-abortion |
| Pro-choice | activism, politics | Pro-abortion |
| University | Branch of the educational/human-resources complex | |
| Culture | art, society | Snob code |
| Feminist | activism, politics | Pro-female biological denialist, female supremacist |
| Anti-feminist | activism, politics | Women-hating activist, male supremacist |
| Anti-imperialist | activism, politics | Against US foreign policy, biased multipolarist |
| Anti-fascist | activism, politics | Pro-violence anarchist/socialist |
| Anti-socialist | activism, politics | Pro-violence reactionary |
| Socialist | activism, politics | Pro state-monopoly, pro forced-sharing |
| Anarchist | activism, politics | Anti-peace activist |
| Revolutionary | activism, politics | Anti-peace activist |
| Progressive | activism, politics | Undercover regressive, utopian denialist |
| Aid | diplomacy, politics | Help, bribe |
| Welfare | government, politics | Rich-to-poor money-transfer |
| Taxes | government | Government-administered wealth-confiscation |
| Hero | activism, military | Disposable useful idiot, murderer |
| Lobbying | government, politics | Legalized corruption |